Un-ber-lievable!

For me, Gary Neville’s single-word comment after he gurgled his reaction to Torres rounding the Barcelona keeper about sums up the entire 2011/12 Premier League season. President of the Unbelievable Society, Chris Kamara, would have been proud. Once an adjective used to describe magician tricks and incredible new technology, thanks almost entirely to Sky Football it seems everything on the pitch is now prefixed with this word. Here are 10 of my unbelievable highlights of the season:

1. Arsenal concede 8 goals against Man U.  8-2 between two top clubs?
2. Man U losing 6-1 at home to City. Since when does that happen?
3. That Cisse shot against Chelsea. Was it remote controlled?
4. Kean clinging on to his Blackburn job when everyone from the fans to that chicken hated him.
5. The Anfield Cat having a better run at the home of the Reds than the team itself.
6. Swansea being compared to Barcelona. Would you have predicted that at the start of the season?
7. Fergie losing mind games to Mancini. I thought he was a Jedi Master at those?
8. Utd losing an 8-point lead towards the end of the season. They just don’t bottle it.
9. Man City scoring two goals in injury time to snatch the title from the tonsils of defeat. If I wrote that as a story end, no-one would seriously believe it, would they?
10. Muamba rising from the dead.

From my perspective as a Liverpool fan, the season has been pretty unbelievable, too. Our league form was ridiculous; it got to a stage where I expected us to lose every match – even more so when at home! We hit the woodwork more times than anyone since records began. We hit more shots off target and missed more penalties than anyone else. Stewart Downing hit 72 shots and scored none. I’m sure our Euro 2012 opponents are lying awake at night at the thought of him driving towards their goal.

And yet…the cups. We were almost invincible – sweeping aside City, Utd and Everton on our way to two finals. Just when you thought Cardiff were destined to win, we kept our nerve to lift the Carling Cup. Had we not given Chelsea such a great head start, we might have nicked the FA Cup too.

I also watched my home team, Stevenage, creep into the play-offs trying to gain an amazing third successive promotion. Standing in the terraces on several cold Saturday afternoons and week nights (is it ever warm there?) I saw commitment, team work and attitude that would make many a bigger club envious. They didn’t quite make it, but they gave us some great memories.

And for me, in terms of supporting, football comes down to two main things: achievements and memories. As the seasons come and go and time moves on, that is all that’s really left behind of team performances.

The stats of trophies won; the record number of goals scored; that season when you went undefeated. Pages devoted to your club’s achievements, forever trotted out and attempted to be emulated by the current team.

The memory of that classic match; the heartache of the losing goal; the image of your captain holding the cup aloft. Captured to be replayed for eternity, whether good or bad.

For my two teams, I wanted more achievement and a few nicer memories, but I can’t complain too much. With Kenny gone and the Boro team possibly breaking up, who knows what next season will bring.

But whatever it does, I’m sure some of it will be…well, you know the word.

Liverpool, Lanzarote, London, Edinburgh. Seeing as I’ve blatantly ignored my blog for two months now, here are a few highlights to catch up:

Saturday 3rd March 2012. Anfield, Liverpool

“C’mon Liverpool!” My first trip to Anfield in nearly 20 years and we can’t convert any of our chances against Arsenal. We need this! Don’t let van Persie have the ball! There he is…can’t possibly score from there…crap. I don’t f***ing believe it. All this way to see us lose in the dying moments to Arsenal. Bet my Gooner friends are gonna love this. It’s a long journey home…

Wednesday 7th March 2012. A bar in Costa Teguise, Lanzarote

“C’mon Stevenage! Get innnnnnnn!” I’m watching my home team beating Spurs! Away! How awesome would it be if we won? It’s been a great holiday so far with Shell’s family, although could do with the wind dropping a tad. And for Stevenage to hang on. Can’t wait to celebrate her mum’s and nephew’s birthday.

Oh. Now we’re losing. Oh well. It was good while it lasted…

Saturday 17th March 2012. Trocadero, London

“C’mon Steve! Get yer feet in.” As part of his 40th visit to London with the boys, perhaps getting those fish that nibble your feet wasn’t high on his list of things to do, but it’s a first for him. Don’t worry, lots of beers to drink, steaks to eat and room on the dance floor to strut your stuff to Shanice’s “I Love Your Smile”…

Tuesday 20th March 2012. Hackney Community Centre

“C’mon people!” Wow, these people training us Olympic volunteers are certainly enthusiastic. I’m meeting all sorts of people here, most of whom seem to share the enthusiasm for the Games. Can’t wait to do my Event Services role at Wembley Stadium…

Saturday 31st March 2012. A field somewhere outside Edinburgh

“C’mon Ghoul!” I feel like I’m letting the team down with this clay pigeon shooting lark. After a great start, I’m beginning to think Mr. Magoo would do better. Just a few clays left…pull…got one!! I’m still way behind the stag, Chav, and everyone else. Oh well. Maybe the comedy club and copious amounts of beer will make up for it later…

Monday 16th April 2012. A crematorium in Stevenage

“C’mon Andy. You can do this.” Just over two weeks ago, my grandad passed away, aged 96. Now I’m here at his funeral about to read part of his eulogy that I’ve written. This is hard. So hard. But I want to do it. It seems fitting, saying a personal goodbye to my last grandparent.

Be strong. Deep breath…

Saturday 14th April 2012. Aintree, Liverpool

“C’mon Seabass!!! C’MON!!!!!” Do it!! Get up there!!! Win it for us!!! Who’s at the front, neck-and-neck? It’s so damn loud here that I haven’t got a clue who’s who as the horses thunder below me in the stands. They race towards the finish, screams of encouragement everywhere, horse names blaring from the loud speakers. It’s over. Who the hell won??

Friday 27th April 2012. St Mary’s Church, Stevenage

“C’mon weather. Be nice to Chav and Nicola for their wedding today.” Maybe someone promised them fine weather for the photos in return to their service having the background of a repetitive car alarm throughout. It’s been a great day, and this cake just about tops it off. Not sure about all the spooky Chav masks, though…

Tuesday 1st May 2012. London Eye

“C’mon – let’s do some research” I’ve got to nail this scene. It’s my favourite scene in the book but one that needs a lot of research to pull it off. The only way to do this is to walk the scene as my character, go on the London Eye and check all the actions are possible. Now, where exactly would he jump over the railings naked…

Wednesday 2nd May 2012. Up a hill, somewhere in Stevenage

“C’mon legs! Don’t fail me now!” I’m about to clock up 11 miles, but I’ve lost more power than Gordon Brown. Keep going. Keep going. You can do it. Nearly there…

Thursday 3rd May 2012. At home

All caught up now? Bet you’re wondering how much editing I’ve done on my book, 26 Miles to the Moon, if I’ve been off gallivanting across the UK. Well, the truth is: not enough. Not nearly enough. But I’m gradually putting the hours in and have a plan to edit which I know I must stick to. I so want this book to be finished and published, so I must make it a priority whilst I have time on my hands.

Even if I have to tie myself to my desk.

I often describe life as a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, unknown twists and turns, exhilarating highs and stomach-churning lows. But thinking about it, that’s wrong. Coasters give you zero control – you just sit down and take what it gives you. Life shouldn’t be like that. I’m lucky to be able to be in control for most of it.

So it’s about time I took the steering wheel again.

January and February have flown by. It’s like I’ve pressed the x6 button on my Sky remote and have fast-forwarded through these months. After a very productive 2011, I’ve started 2012 coasting, going round and round in circles. Why? A big part of it is being in new territory – I’m job-hunting for the first time in 17 years, looking for a new house for the first time in 14, and trying to work out how to edit my book to get it to a state to send to publishers. I’m way out of my comfort zone, with no daily structure, and no clear knowledge of how or when I will achieve my objectives.  Add a bit of recent injury and illness, and things have been relatively pants for me recently. Of course I know I have a great life really and wouldn’t dare suggest otherwise, but being in this limbo state every day – especially in the dark and cold of mid-winter – starts to erode your confidence, makes you doubt yourself and takes away your swagger. But this is where my marathon training comes in to sort my head out and get me going straight down that road again to my goal.

It’s tough out there, but I have the confidence in myself, in my abilities and I’m really looking forward to getting back to employment, to proving myself and making a difference somewhere. It will happen and I will make it happen. Maybe not tomorrow and maybe I’ll need a little luck along the way, but I’m positive.
The right house will eventually come along.
The novel won’t edit itself. It’s time for discipline again.
No excuses. No getting side-tracked. No stopping until it’s done.

Let’s drive.

A lot’s happened in the last month. For a start, I’ve turned the big four-ohhhhhhhh, much to the amusement of my friends. Then I went to Las Vegas to celebrate heavily and sleep lightly, before returning and enjoying the Christmas and New Year festivities. Soon after, I set about editing my book and applying for jobs. In between, I mourned the passing of my favourite teacher.

Happy birthday, happy birthday

Turning 40 wasn’t too bad. It was, of course, inevitable and something that I’d constantly been reminded of would happen for about the last two years now. I’m not sure whether I have had my mid-life crisis or whether it is to come, but I guess leaving my job and writing a novel, plus throwing myself off tall buildings and partying until 6am with people half my age are signs.

My actual birthday was excellent. Shell’s present was a hand-made DVD in a box within many other boxes around it. When played, it not only surprised me with details of tickets for the Grand National, Michael McIntyre tour and Segway racing, but also Kylie Minogue sang me happy birthday. Ok, she didn’t actually say my name, but I’m sure it was solely for me.
The rest of the day was spent celebrating with mine and Shell’s family, and it was great to see everyone.

What goes on in Vegas…

Vegas was…well Vegas! They say a picture paints a thousand words, so if you can, check out all the photos on Facebook for the whole story. I survived six nights on very little sleep and lots of food and vodka, plus jumped off the Stratosphere for good measure, as you can see to the left.

Christmas came and went in a blur as usual. Not a drunken blur, mind – it just goes so fast when you’re older, don’t you think? We spent our time with each family over several days, nice and relaxed with great food and presents. I even played my first game of Shove Ha’penny and a strange game called “Tip it”. I think the Powell family are hoping that the latter will be a late entry into the Olympics.

Back to work

After Christmas it was back to reality, whatever that means to me nowadays. After a break of over a month (as recommended), I’ve gone back to my novel’s first draft and have started editing it. Trouble is, I’m finding it not exactly straight forward, for the following reasons:

1. I’ve got out of the habit of working on it every day.
2. It’s not like writing in the sense of having a goal of a set number of words to do. How do I know I’ve done enough today?
3. I’m not entirely sure where to start or how to edit it all. Different people say different things. Some say it could take a couple of months, others a year. One writer said he did about ten drafts and wouldn’t let anyone see if before at least draft six.

I’m struggling for discipline and distractions right now and if I’m honest doing everything I can before I sit down and edit it. There’s always something else to do, even with a lot of time on my hands. But I’ll work it out – I want to and I have to. There’s no point in me doing all the hard work to get to first draft and not seeing it through. Shape up Andy – you’re gonna make 2012 happen…and the hard work won’t do itself.

Job-wise, I’m in the hunt again. I’ve been keeping my eye on things for a while but have just started applying to jobs these last few weeks. It’s about time I got out there again and I’m looking forward to a new challenge. Sure, the book thing will continue, but I’m happy to do what most writers have to do, i.e. do it in their spare time. So, if any employer out there is reading this and has a need for a fantastic software Development Manager or similar, then please contact me via this website. Give me a department, project or product and I’ll deliver the results. Plus I can run a mean sweepstake.

4D vision

My final section is on the sad passing of my favourite teacher, Mr Deakin. He was our form tutor in our final year of juniors, class 4D, and not only gave us a good education but plenty of memories, too. He believed in us, and gave us a great start in life, going up to the scary world of senior school.
I always remember that he liked my stories, so I dug out my old report with his comments:

When I considered starting writing again a few years ago, it was partly due to thoughts of these comments that reminded me that I used to write some good stuff as a kid and that maybe I could do it again.

All I can say is that I’ll try and do him proud.

This time of year always feels a bit strange for me, more so this year than any other before. It’s partly because I’m unavoidably sliding down a big tube marked “My 30′s” and in a few days I’m gonna crash through to the adjoining one. But it’s also because I’ve just spent the last four months writing every weekday, so now I just feel like I’m in between the work done and the work to be done.

As advised, I’m not going to touch my first draft until after Christmas. I know I should continue writing something, but I wanted a break, and with birthday and Christmas plans, plus updating my CV and beginning the job search for next year I’ve decided that I’ll only update my blog for the moment. Any experienced writers out there might be thinking right now “Uh-oh – he’s showing signs of stalling – will he actually get back to it or will it be left on the side, gathering dust?” but I assure you it won’t be the case.

I’m actually already looking forward to the editing. I can hear the story calling me, telling me to come back and make it better. The characters deserve to be improved – sharper, funnier, louder, sexier, more evil. The places need to come alive. The story has got to say “This will sell!” I will make a plan – much like I did for writing it – to make sure I edit x number of pages a day. I’m not exactly sure how I will edit it, but I will read up some more and then try it and tailor it to how I feel it will work for me.

I’ve also started the thought process on my next book. What – you thought that was it? I have been known to start the odd fad and never pick it up again, but with running and now writing, I very much want to keep them going. I really enjoyed writing 26 Miles to the Moon, and loved the initial process in coming up and developing ideas. So the thoughts have been coming – nothing firm, just a few seeds drifting in the air that I’ve grabbed and kept, perhaps growing them later. I’m also toying with a sequel; well if Tom Cruise is considering a Top Gun sequel then you can follow anything.

This period’s also given me a bit of time to reflect on things. I’ve been so self-absorbed in my book that it feels all a bit “me-me-me”. I’ve been amazed how interested people have been in it and my progress, and as much as I love telling people when they ask how I’m getting on and what I’ve been doing, it does all feel a bit trivial at times. I’m not helping anyone, battling adversity, enriching my community or doing much for anyone right now. I’ll think about what I can give back in 2012.

For the short-term, though, the Andy Show will continue. My next post will let you know how it feels to turn 40.  If the old adage is correct, my life should just be beginning…

“The End” – two of the most glorious words I’ve ever written. 105,000 words preceded them to make up the first draft of my novel, ’26 Miles to the Moon’, but those closing two meant phase 1 is now complete. And I’m absolutely chuffed.

Reasons to be cheerful

1. I got to the end. From what I’ve read, so many writers start a novel and fail to finish it, either due to a lack of time, loss of enthusiasm or because they just get stuck on the plot part way through. I was lucky to have given myself five free months to plan and write it with few distractions in between, so I had the time. Enthusiasm waned at times, but I always wrote. And yes, I did get stuck occasionally, but with time to think and help from others I always got going again.

2. I like the story. Sounds daft? Then consider the stereotypical image of a writer from years gone by – sat hunched over a typewriter surrounded by balls of screwed up paper on the floor. You don’t always like what you’ve written, even as it comes pouring out from your brain to your fingers. There were times when I really didn’t like some parts of what I’d written and some days I thought the whole thing just wasn’t going to work. Of course, I might not like the story as much when I go back to it and read it all from beginning to end, but I’ll at least have something to work on.

3. I met my goals. I knew I would get easily distracted and I knew I would procrastinate. ‘Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow’ is often my motto. So to set a goal of writing 1500 words a day for almost every week day for 4 months was for me like asking Alex Ferguson not to chew gum at every match.  Also, at the beginning I set out an entire plan for the novel with a rough word count and all the sections. Yes, I revised it a lot, but I met my goals by starting on time (Aug 1st), writing on every day I had planned to for the full 1500 words and finishing a week earlier than my original target end date (Dec 2nd).

Appropriately – given the novel’s subject – I think my marathon training helped me with the discipline. I had a date and mile target and had to run even when I didn’t feel like it…and that’s pretty much what happened with the first draft.

We’ve only just begun

So what next? Surely it’s only a matter of time before it’s in the shops and you can buy it? Errr, I think not. Now, the real work begins.

People have asked me “So when can I read it?” and “So do you just tidy it up now or what?” which are fair enough questions. Even I didn’t know the process initially.

The best analogy I can give is a classic one: that of a painting. I’ve just done a pencil sketch – it depicts the subject and is detailed…but it’s far from being the complete article. I may rub bits out, add bits, change areas. I will add colour, clarity. Polish it off until it is exactly the best I can make it. No-one’s going to buy it in its current state – many would look at it and say ‘It’s ok, but don’t give up your day job.’ (unfortunately that’s too late for me anyway!)

So, the next steps are:

To take a break until after Christmas. This gives me distance from a project I’ve been working on or thinking about for five months.

Read it from start to finish. When I pick it up again, it will be with fresher eyes. This’ll be scary, and a good test on whether I still like it.

Plan how to edit it. I’ve got to check things like whether the story is believable everywhere, consistency and that all my facts are correct. How do I improve my characters? Is there enough drama? Are there twists? Is it too predictable? I  will need to improve the dialogue so that every line every character says is the best it can be. Is the pace right? Have I too many chapters? Are they of the right length or should I even them out a little? Are the story and emotional arcs right?

Once planned, I then start to edit it. I shall let a few people read it to get their opinions, as they will always see things I can’t. The editing process is going to take several months, I expect.

Throughout this process, I shall read advice, get tips and also work out my desired route to an attempt at publication.

It’s going to be a long journey, but the main thing is that I now have a product and the dream is starting to take place.

As Jackson, the fitness instructor in my novel might say to me, “Males you pussy! You think the last five months was pain? You’re just about to enter a whole new world of hurt…”

It is with great pleasure that I can inform the world that as from 11:12am today, the first draft of my first novel 26 Miles to the Moon is now complete!

More to follow, but just had to post this to say how chuffed I am at this achievement.

Of course, I am aware that this is where all the hard work really begins…

My previous interest in Mexico ended roughly when Maradona took on the entire England team and slotted in one the best goals ever seen, back in the World Cup in 1986. 25 years on (ugh!), I’m here on holiday.

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooool Carrooooooooooooooooolllllll!
Actually, let’s the get the footy out of the way first. Will Andy’s Football Holiday Curse continue? Ever since my first trip abroad in 1987, it is almost 100% guaranteed that when I go away, Liverpool lose; last year I hadn’t even got out of the airport before we crumpled to Blackpool. I used to wonder as a kid if anything I did had a baring on our results, like if I had a good holiday it had to be counteracted by my team losing. Yeah, as if karma would think I was the most important supporter in the world. (then again, maybe I’ve not been good enough for the past 21 years). But I caught a bit of the Mersey derby and was pleasantly surprised to hear the Spanish commentators announce the first goal of two in typical fashion. And there was more – England scrape through to Euro 2012. Maybe I should just stay out here.

But enough of football. I’m in Mexico, south of Cancun and should really be relaxing for two weeks and not concerning myself with sport results, emails and keeping up with Twitter and Facebook. Or blogging. Hmmmm… Here’s some highlights so far…

The journey

Hey – funky Yotel hotel! If you don’t know, it’s a short-stay hotel actually inside Gatwick where the rooms are tiny but the style is cool. Purple lighting, folding bed and everything you need. Like the Japanese capsule hotel I stayed in, except about ten times as big. We checked in at night, so by 7am we’re ready.

Man, this plane is having more ups and downs than the FTSE 100 recently. Not sure if we’re flying or sailing across the Atlantic. I get the proverbial bloke-in-front-with-seat-broken-leaning-back-onto-my-lap just to add to the fun. Still, the ten-hour flight goes quite quick; I guess the more long flights you do the less they bother you.

Hotel first impressions: it’s huge! Four hotels in one, all-inclusive, swimming pools, beach, restaurants, wildlife and plenty of transport. Our room is big, with two balconies, air con, two TVs, jacuzzi and a bed that could sleep an entire Mexican family, with space for a guest. We decide to do a tour of the hotel grounds via a mode of transport we haven’t tried yet…

Segway to heaven
We get a detailed demo on how to use the Segway. It’s like half a motorised bicycle with no seat. It looks easy to ride, but then Shell’s first attempt results in her running over the instructor’s foot, curtailing his fledgling football career, it seems. With a little practice, we’re soon zooming around, turning, doing 360s and bunny hops. Ok, perhaps not the last one of those but we’re sorted for the tour and spend an hour going round the whole complex.

Wish you were here? Probably not
The alarm goes off at 6am – we’re gonna see a sunrise! Nothing better than watching the sun slowly appear out of the water, and my camera’s all primed. I groggily look out of the window…hang on…is that? Oh my god, it is – it’s raining! This isn’t how it’s supposed to be – England basking in a heatwave of Florida proportions whilst we sit in watching torrential rain in Mexico. I’ve had enough of rain back home and now have swapped sunny skies for tropical storms. I’m sure no-one will be sympathetic back home, though, even if I come back whiter than everyone else who stayed in the UK.

Chicken Pizza
Our first tour: going to one of the New Seven Wonders of the World, Chichen Itza. Weather is iffy – it could pour down any time it wants to. The crew on the coach bust a gut on the three-hour journey to provide pastries, beer and information. It’s better service than a flight.

Our first stop is a cenote – an underground pool. The weather has got worse and it is spitting as we get off the coach. We experience our first set of Mexican vendors who wish to sell you anything with every step you take. Everyone is stopped to have their photo taken, presumably to be sold it later. One older couple refuse and make a break for it, pursued by the photographer like they were trying to escape over the border. We change and go down to the pool, which is actually very beautiful, in a cave where you look up 100ft to the entrance. The water’s cold and has fish swimming in it, but we both brave it and soon get used to it. I try out my underwater camera pouch to mixed effect. There’s an opportunity for a small cliff jump, which naturally I have to do. It’s a little high, but I don’t think about it and just go off with a little woo of joy in mid-air. Nice – another little bit of dare-devil completed.
Lunch is at a designated stop-off. The food’s not great, with little choice, but it’s included in the price of the tour. The entertainment consists of two men and two women banging their shoes loudly on the floor, dancing round a maypole and one whistling – albeit skilfully – bird calls. Unfortunately this grates after a while, although they up the game by balancing bottles and glasses on their heads. Their finale was a strange dance with a pig’s head(?) and other props. Strictly Come Dancing it wasn’t.

It’s pouring down. My biggest fear today was torrential rain when we were trying to go round and take photos. We step off the coach and the locals make a killing in selling plastic ponchos. Of course we’ll get some, won’t we? “Nah,” says Shell, “It’ll stop and then we’ll be drenched in sweat.” I know there and then that this is one of those couple moments where (to go back to footy talk for a sec) at the end of the day, the final result will be either:
“Shell, you were totally right. Good call.” OR
“Shell, I’m drenched. I’m never listening to you again.”
It’s heavy rain, but there is sun around. I decide to go with her instincts and take the gamble. We get our tickets, go through the barrier and what do you know: it stops and suddenly it’s like standing in a microwave. We are taken round the ancient site by our guide who is very expressive in all his gestures and has eyebrows which could have a career in the West End. We hear about the Mayan culture and eventually we are taken to the big pyramid, which is actually a large calendar. Not the sort of thing you could sit on your desk, though. You can’t walk up it any more, which is a shame but understandable. It’s pretty stunning, aligned perfectly with the stars and with the exact amount of steps to represent their calendar. The only thing that spoils it are the hundreds of sellers who want your cash. “Come! You look!”, “Only one dollar!”, “Almost free!” I have my choice of thousands of miniature pyramids, skulls, ponchos, necklaces and masks. Every few seconds someone blows into a thing that you could buy that makes a jaguar noise (the animal, not the car) which could probably be heard in Cuba. As we left, it started to rain again. Good call.

Birthday girl

Wednesday brings Shell’s birthday. It’s also my cat’s birthday, but as he’s not here to celebrate, I guess the cake I secretly arrange will have to be eaten by us. We’re up around 7:30 and Shell opens her cards and presents. She said she didn’t want anything more than what I’d bought her at home, but I’m not fooling for that female trap. We have breaky and then I pretend to need to rest in the room as I’m waiting for the surprise cake delivery at 10am. The cake does me proud – a choccy mousse affair that we start on and put the rest in the mini bar fridge. It’s a magic, always-replenished fridge, so you never know, the room pixies might create a new one each day.
The salt water pool is our first destination, one that we share with the fish that are swept in from the sea. The water’s a tad murky but we can do a bit of snorkelling. Large, ominous dark clouds begin to descend on us. It’s gonna rain…it’s gonna rain…it’s raining. We retreat to a beach hut and then to beach sun beds when it eases off, but decide to relocate to the spa pool in preparation for our spa treatments later.

Mexican Masochistic Massages
Shell opts for a facial, me for some combo massage thing that is due to last 80 minutes. I lie down after a Spanglish explanation that I could only work out that it involved elbows. Oh crap.
About twenty minutes into the massage, I decide to never to inflict myself the misery and agony of one ever again. Is this woman tenderising me for some Mexican cannibal banquet? My right shoulder gets a pummelling. Just when you think she’s gone as deep as she can go, she digs in deeper; it’s all I can do to stop the internal screaming from leaping out. Worse thing – the left shoulder is whimpering at the anticipation of its turn.
The actual massage bits – rubbing of the head, stroking arms etc – are great, but it’s not worth the pain. Eventually it’s over and I feel not much different, just more relieved.
I assume Shell’s facial was more relaxing, but she comes out saying that she had been zapped by lasers. If you love pain then Mexican spas are for you.

Dinner was at Ribs ‘n’ More, one of the many a la carte restaurants here. With no money to pay, there’s not a great deal of incentive for great service, so our experience of the non-buffet places hasn’t been particularly fantastic. Tonight though, the waiter is tip-top, even more so when I mention it’s Shell’s birthday. She ends up getting a happy birthday message in sauce with her dessert and then come the tequilas. Our waiter bangs it on the table and then pours it down her neck, before doing the same to me. Our aim is to get drunk and dance the night away, but to do that you need the right entertainment. They have a disco here but when we walk in at 11pm it’s deader than Carlos Tevez appreciation night. We decide to stay, and are rewarded by swathes of party goers coming in after the show outside. This is better, surely? Err, no. Apparently it’s bikini night, which sounds great, aside from the fact no guest is in a bikini and the only semi-naked people are the male entertainment crew. Worse still, the music is a mix of Spanish/Caribbean rap. We wait for it to get better, but it doesn’t. Perhaps we’re too English, too old or have different tastes, but we leave to go back to our room disappointed.
Never mind, there’s still plenty to do and talk about in part 2 later…

Did you ever enthusiastically start something, leap into it with all guns blazing, get halfway through and then suddenly think, ‘Oh shit – what the fuck am I doing?’ Well that’s happened to me in the last week with my novel. Crisis? As Bon Jovi once sang: you got to keep the faith.

Buckle up

When writing, confidence is like a roller coaster. So much so that if I represent my confidence in my novel as a graph, it would look something like the below, which to me looks a damn good coaster to ride on:

A - Initial planning. Not too sure if it’s gonna work, so playing around with ideas.

B – Idea sorted, the select few people I’ve shared the idea with seem to like it. Let’s get it on!

C – Writing away,  going well. It’s gonna work!

D – The first few chapters are read by a select few. A good response, but there’s more editing required than I realised.

E – Accepted all comments. Confident that story is still sound and once edits are done will be much stronger.

F – I subject my idea to a forum. It doesn’t receive much support. Maybe I didn’t explain it well. Or maybe it’s doomed…

G – Bounce back. I’ve learned a lot from F, and realise that it was the wrong audience. I still believe!

 At F, with over 50,000 words done and you read from the odd person that the idea doesn’t look interesting, backed up with a few quizzical comments from others, you start to doubt yourself. Then you worry. Then you slip into a hole where all you can see is pages and pages of text that won’t sell, won’t be of interest to anyone and before you know it you’re thinking what a waste of time this is and shouldn’t I stop playing at being a writer and get a job?

That’s when you crank up Bon Jovi.

You don’t give up your dream because a few people doubt you.

You don’t tear up your work because it’s not in a perfect shape.

You don’t discard your ideas at the first hurdle when you really do believe in them.

What you do do is: you get on with it, finish it and then make it the best piece of work it can be. 

There’ll be plenty of bumps, twists and turns to come yet, I’m sure. I’m determined to ride it out until the end, jump off and shout, “Let’s go round again!”

I went for a run today and killed someone. They didn’t see it coming and arguably didn’t deserve it either. It was a bit harsh, but had to be done. Got to make things interesting, you see. I guess I feel a bit guilty, but I didn’t know them that well anyway. Mind you, I suppose I could have a change of heart later and let them live. Oh the power of being a writer…

Thinking on my feet

I’m getting into my running a lot more at the moment. I’m not training for anything in particular, although I’ve entered a 10K race at the end of September. Running exercises the muscles that just lie around unused whilst I’m sitting at my desk writing. It also provides an updated insight to how it feels to run distances and speeds when you’re struggling (good research) and gives me alone time to think about my novel’s plot and characters. Ideas can come at any time – talking to people, listening to people, reading something, watching TV, film or when your mind is desperate to think of anything else other than how the heck it is going to drag your legs home when you just want to lie in the nearest ditch and go to sleep. Sometimes all I can think of is the running – how fast I am going, how long left, monitoring my body for pains, working out my likely finish time. The best times are when I can switch off and leave the body to it, running on auto pilot, and occasionally it gives me time to think of my novel.

A tension deficit disorder

Almost all novels contain conflict. Think of the last book you read – did the main character struggle to overcome obstacles that kept being put into their path? Most likely. For some reason, the concept of having a goal and adding conflict throughout appeals to us. Look at crime novels – they’re always complicated affairs with plenty of problems for the protagonist to solve. And with sci-fi, it’s never a straightforward affair to beat the aliens either, is it? Books and films without conflict are of course possible, but how often do you finish one and feel something was missing? I’ve read nice books with happy endings and then thought, “Well, that was a walk in the park, but nothing really happened.” Think what if Harry Potter destroyed every foe with a single flick of his wand without even breaking sweat? No, you have to make your characters work for it.

But it isn’t easy to get the balance right. You’re writing along, page after page, adding dialogue, descriptions and building the story up and before you know it you’ve done several chapters. You then read it back the next day and realise that there’s about as much tension and excitement as in an England friendly. How do you fix this? Throw in rabid dog to liven things up? Turn off gravity in their world for a few seconds? Add an unexpected visit from the mother-in-law? Well perhaps, but only if it fits in with the story and is not obvious that it’s been added purely to give conflict. I do get annoyed with films where everything that could go wrong does go wrong for no apparent reason.

Captain! We have over an hour before rendezvous with Starfleet Command and nothing is likely to happen until we get there…but my chair wheel has just snapped and I’m careering towards the auto destruct button!

He’s dead, Jim. Then again…

So I’ve obviously got a few things lined up as part of the plot but don’t want to make it easy for my main guy, hence the killing off idea of another character. But is it too much? Would his reactions to it be what I want? I can’t have him shrug and say, “Never liked ‘em anyway” nor can I have his character be someone who would take it so badly he’d just stop and shout, “Why them? Oh, the injustice!” and pack up and go home.

So I’m still to decide on this. Maybe they’ll live or maybe they’ll die in a freak yachting accident.

Their fate is literally in my hands.