Do you remember that bit in Forrest Gump where he just runs and runs and runs? Well, that’s what it feels like sometimes when you’re running, like you can keep going forever. (I also identify with the beard he sported, although mine hasn’t got that long yet.) Other times, you feel as fast as Forrest was when he first sprinted away from the bullies. Lately, it’s been more like the latter as I start my quest for speed.

I’m not a fast long distance runner. My records are pretty poor, but I set out this year to improve them to a decent set of figures. I may want to tackle another marathon in the next year or two (must be mad, I know) and definitely want to break the four-hour barrier this time around, so need to up the pace.  Trouble is, you need good strong muscles for speed – unlike running for distance, you can’t just rely on willpower and sheer guts to get you to where you want to be. And this is where I’m lacking a bit at the moment.

My calves generally take a pounding on every run, but it’s on the slopes that my quads and hamstrings take more of the strain, and it’s these muscles that haven’t had a lot of use recently. So I’m doing more hill work and trying to run as fast as I can over 5K and 10K, and I’m pleased to say it’s resulted in me breaking both my 5K record and my fastest mile last week (you can see the results to the right of my Blog page.) I must say I’ve never been so exhausted after pushing myself up the final slopes in my runs, desperate to beat my times to the point where I almost collapsed at the finish – which is how breaking records should be. None of this showboating over the line, Usain Bolt style!!

The records are still not good, but seeing as I’m still on my way back to regular running after my sabbatical, it’s a start. Plenty of scope to keep lowering them, I say. Can’t wait to get stronger, faster and making running a lot easier by not having to struggle so much over the inclines.

To continue the Forrest Gump theme, life really is a box of chocolates. I’ve had the odd coffee cream day recently, but had some good strawberry centred ones, too. You never do know quite what you’re gonna get.

Finally, happy birthday to Alli, who is probably spending it with leopards, elephants or lions as I type. Hope you had a great day!

Today marks the start of a new adventure…although I may not even leave the house!

09:20 on a rainy Friday morning, a couple of weeks from the start of summer. Nothing special, except I have the day off – the first in what should be a regular series of being off on Fridays. After coming back from my sabbatical, during which I did so much, I decided that I just couldn’t just go back to exactly what I had been doing before, five days a week. I’d just fulfilled a few dreams and did activities I never thought I would do, and it gave me a taste for more. I’d always wanted to see the Northern Lights, so I got off my arse, booked up, took the opportunity and was rewarded by seeing one of the most amazing things I’d ever seen. Japan had just been a distant place in another world; now I’ve been there, got the fridge magnet and conquered the sights alone. I dreamed of surfing big waves in exotic locations; riding the smallest of rollers on a deserted beach on a cold morning may not count for much, but it at least I’d gone a small way towards this. The pattern was there: want, go, got.

Which brings me to one of my biggest ambitions: to become a writer. I’ve blogged about my ambitions that I’d written down when I was 15, and this was one of them. I had a good try for a while a year or two back, and got a few short stories published online, but then never made an effort to continue. There was always something that got in the way to give me an excuse not to make time for it. It was now time for me to really think about just how serious I was about this ambition. Did I really want it? Was I prepared to work for it? Did I understand that the chances of succeeding to make a career from it were close to zero? Did I have the discipline? Was I good enough? Did I know what I was going to write about? Could I accept the failure?

I don’t have all the answers to the above. But there was one thing that swung it for me: the feedback received from my blog posts here.

I won’t pretend that I’m a brilliant writer. I know that some of the good feedback I’ve had about particular posts may have been eggagerated when a person has told me they’d read it, and that maybe the content has probably been more exciting than the writing. But the comments from all sorts of people – including those from people I’d never even met – all reminded me why I love to write: to produce something people actually enjoy reading.

The results can be vastly rewarding, but I have to say that I rarely enjoy the actual writing process. Blogging is usually fun, and the style I’ve written the posts in recently is quite easy to write, as it’s all based on personal experience. Writing a fictional story, on the other hand, requires a lot more skill, thought and patience. I’ve started stories and then got fed up, abandoning them like a cute puppy that turned into an ugly dog I no longer wanted to play with. However, the ones I’ve finished and polished I’m really proud of, especially the ones that make it through a selection process and actually got published somewhere. So it’s a case of knowing it’s hard work, but also knowing it’s worth it in the end if you just stick at it.

So I made a decision to work four days a week from now, and made a vow to myself to spend the fifth day writing. I was able to do this with a change of role offered to me at work (and a different challenge) and a pay cut in exchange for more holiday. I’m very lucky to be able to do this, but I’ve realised now that if you can live comfortably, then there’s more to life than working to earn money, so why not effectively spend a bit to live a bit? My sabbatical cost me thousands in lost earnings, let alone expenses, but what would have I done with the money? Sure, I could have bought a nice flash car instead and driven it around for a few years, but compare that with the experiences I’ve had on my trips; it wouldn’t even come close.

Right, it’s about time I stopped pretending I’m writing when all I’m doing is blogging my thoughts. I will still keep this blog and I’ll try to keep it exciting, but I’ve got bigger fish to fry.

Today could be the start of a road to success. Maybe I’ll reach Failure City first…but at least I’d have given it a shot.

Aside from walking well over a hundred miles whilst away, and throwing myself off various heights, I didn’t have a lot of exercise in the last few months. With warmer weather and plenty of options, I’ve flung myself back into exercising. Until I started this entry, though, I didn’t realise how much I’d been doing. Here’s a few snippets of the action…

I’m sure snails are overtaking me. I’m running up the smallest of gradients but have been reduced to a crawl, caused by the toll of the last six miles. What the heck was I thinking? I’ve never done this hilly course before, and having not donned my running shoes for nearly two and a half months, I’m out of practise. My quads have weakened in the interim, and I simply have no power left in them now to lift up my heavy legs. This is pain. My two mates (whose idea it was to drag me here to their course, and are a good few years younger and fitter) are so far ahead that I’m starting to wish I brought some binoculars. How did I run that marathon? I resort to reciting my inspiring mantra to keep going, which, as always, helps. I want to quit – but I can’t. My calves have tightened up fast as they take on all the extra muscle work, and they’re starting to worry me, but I’m determined to finish this. I don’t quit, unless I have, or feel certain of, a serious injury. Anything else can be overcome mentally. Eventually I catch them up. Only male bravado prevents me from collapsing in front of them.

I can barely walk, so I’m not sure it’s such a good idea playing footy tonight. However, here I am, stretching and running and pretending I’m ok. Hopefully I’ll be put with some of the fast guys in this 6-a-side, as I won’t have a prayer in catching them otherwise. Small men are currently buried beneath my calves and having a long, vicious knife fight with my muscles. I’m hoping that my accuracy has improved from last week, though. I proved it’s not only fitness you lose in a break, but your sharpness too. I try a few painful shots and begin to loosen up. Doesn’t feel like I’m gonna score, though. In my florescent yellow bib, at the speed I’m moving at I might get mistaken for one of the lanterns you see by small roundabouts. Then fate decided to show up and give me a hand, at the same time ruining someone else’s hand. As the ball rebounded from a rocket shot, it looked like it might drop nicely for my left foot. However, my colleague decided to attempt a move that should really only be tried on an XBox or Playstation. After leaping about three foot in the air, slicing the ball with his audacious overhead kick effort, he landed awkwardly right in front of me. A second later, he yelped as his hand decided that its existing angle it’d been at all his life was boring, and that it would try this new, unnatural angle. Match stopped, ambulance called, game over. A dislocated elbow and broken wrist certainly beat my aching calves. Teach him to try that in a Man Utd shirt…

Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch ouch! Oh c’mon! I’ve only gone less than half a mile and already my calves are complaining. Back on one of my usual runs after a nice rest, I thought I was fine. Do I turn back? I can’t complete my expected five miles tonight like this. Why was I so Bertie Big Bananas with that seven-miler the other week? I knew I should’ve gone with something smaller for my return. Now, I could be messed up for a while. Will I do myself serious harm? Keep going. I don’t quit, remember? Just cut the run to a more manageable four miles and keep at it. Painfully, I manage to get home after completing the shorter distance.

1..2..3….4………..8….puff….9….grunt….10. Now for the next set of press-ups.
I decided a while ago that although running was great for my lower body, my upper body strength left something to be desired. Not being a fan of gyms (does anyone really get their money’s worth, or are they just a slave to them?) I’ve never really worked on my upper body. Sitting at a desk all day typing hardly works the muscles, either. Recalling an embarrassing rubber ring ride a few years back where I fell off in the water and just couldn’t lift myself back on, I thought it was well about time I did something. So, taking some advice and keeping in style with my changes for the better, I decided to commit to doing press ups every day. Currently at four lots of ten at a time – each lot in a different hand position – which will then build up to more and more. Plus, I’m starting on sit-ups soon. Yes, it doesn’t sound particularly challenging right now I’m sure for some of you, but I have to start somewhere. I haven’t missed a night in three weeks, despite a couple of them being when I was pretty drunk! (coordination was lacking, but for some reason you don’t feel the pain as much!) Are they working? Well, I am feeling the benefits already, and although it may never turn me into Popeye, if I can increase the repetitions and make me stronger then I’ll be happy with that.

I haven’t done this for months! It’s just like riding a bike. Funny that, because that’s exactly what it is – I’m back on my bike again. After getting one to help with the marathon training, then having to mothball it due to knee problems and then the onset of winter, it’s nice to go out on it again. Wind in my hair, tarmac flying by, bugs splattering my face. Ahhhh, the joys of a pushbike. This will help with my quads and those pesky hills.

It’s getting light, the birds are singing, my feet are hurting and my house still seems a million miles away. This is my third walk tonight – from mate’s house to the pub, from pub to club, and now from club to home. That’s a lot of miles to walk in shoes; this last leg is three miles at least. The weather’s good, but it’s now approaching 4am and I know I should be home tucked up in bed like any other sane person. In another universe, Andy is fast asleep having taken a taxi home. My only consolation is I will wake up tomorrow with a heavier wallet. Still, at this rate I may have to buy some new legs.

Sunday. My mate comes round to drop off the Inbetweeners DVDs, which after a couple of episodes viewed the other day, seems a cool programme. He then reminds me of our badminton appointment on Monday. Crap. I’d forgotten about that. Haven’t played since early last year, and I remember being pretty bad then. Fitness was ok, but general power was poor, coupled with dodgy eyesight meant a few large losses against my friends. Tomorrow could be embarrassing…but then maybe I’m fitter and stronger now? Time will tell…

So, walking, running, cycling, playing footy and badminton, and doing press-ups. I’ll either end up super fit and strong, or super knackered and injured. Life was so much easier lying on a beach…

February the tenth was the start
An unknown adventure awaited
On my own, but free as a bird
An amazing journey unfolded.

I felt the coldest of colds
Had sun scorch my neck
Wind batter me senseless
Cool breezes relax me.

I entered the Arctic Circle
Broke in to the tropics
Europe’s furthest north
Australia’s most eastern.

I saw mountains of green and white
Golden yellow sands
Jungles and rainforests
Concrete towers and skyscrapers.

I climbed a thousand steps
Walked a hundred miles
Saw rainbow islands
Beaches stretching forever.

I crossed many a bridge
Trudged up hills
Suffered for a photo chance
Longed to be teleported back.

I faced many of my fears
Pushed my boundaries
Did the unthinkable
Waded out of my comfort zone.

I fell through open skies
Rode a bike into empty space
Rounded up goats on a horse
Dragged through fields by huskies.

I donned silly fancy dress
Failed to lasso the skull
Yanked a goat backwards
Got launched from a mechanical bull.

I felt the thrill of a surf
The terror of a wipeout
Marvelled at coral
Touched a fish as big as my telly.

I lifted my favourite cup
Saw an Aussie Rules upset
Partied like a local
Sang my heart out in the street.

I tasted an ant’s bum
Had a kangaroo burger
Spat pips on a bar floor
Ate octopus with chopsticks.

I bathed with naked men
Jacuzzied in a freezing sunset
Got half naked in a bar
Smiled at my snow angel.

I hurt ribs falling on a sand dune
Blistered my feet by walking
Bruised my arms with my backpack
And experienced a hundred bites.

I grew a full beard
Had ice cubes down my neck
Trainers caked in mud
Sweat pouring down my back.

I played like a kid
Had a bread crumb fight
Rolled down sandy mounds
Swung until I was dizzy.

I fell hopelessly in love
Had the best week of my life
Experienced pleasure so intense
The moment when time almost stood still.

I danced without a care
Threw my morals aside
Had the perfect first kiss
Did wrong things without regret.

I was dropped off in a police car
Ticked off like a teenager
Showed passion in public
Sensibility out of the window.

I shed tears of laughter and sorrow
Saw hope disappear and return
Goodbyes and Hellos
Loneliness and togetherness.

I missed home comforts
Accepted the lack of privacy
Longed for a comfy bed
Wished for my own space.

I met annoying Germans
Courteous Norwegians
Helpful Japanese
Very laid back Aussies.

I heard repeatedly: “No Worries”
“Goon”
“We are Liiiiiiiiiverpool!”.
“Have a nice day!”

I caught up with old friends
Made many new ones
Drank too many beers
Got hopelessly lost.

I punched the air alone
Woke to disappointing results
Listened to gloating Mancs
Saw the misery of relegation.

I was dazzled by the Milky Way
Wished upon a shooting star
Mesmerised by the crescent moon
Slept under a canopy of wonder.

I was where the bomb dropped
Saw endless graves
The beauty of the cherry blossom
And the hope for peace.

I was chased by a croc
Held a snake round my neck
Saw prehistoric survivors
And jumpers run wild.

I saw rows of dead fish
The taming of the squirrel
Robots and concrete cows
Sea eagles swooping for food.

I heard crickets chirp
Kookaburras laugh
Crocodiles growl
Mosquitoes buzz my ears.

I was shocked at large spiders
Scared by snakes at my feet
Troubled by bed bugs
Cautious about jellyfish.

I saw stunning sunsets
The sun rise above the horizon
Shadows stretching to infinity
Took photos of perfect silhouettes.

I witnessed nature’s light show
Saw light dance and play
Sat frozen in time
Captured sights I’d always dreamt of.

I had moments of pure inspiration
Mountains magically appear
Pockets of simple tranquillity
Found my happy place again and again.

All of this in three months
The best I’ve ever had
So many great memories
A ton of wonderful photos.

I finish my sabbatical
My eyes more wide open
I’ve changed, and for the good
Best decision of my life.

…but how do I top all that?

So it’s over. My sabbatical from work has finished, and I’m back to work tomorrow. I have to write that again for it to sink in – I’m going back to work tomorrow.

I’m sure there’s a number of you reading this feeling a little smug that after my big jolly I’m about to go back to reality. Hope he suffers big time, after all his showing off with the photos and descriptions of great places. Why should he have all the fun? Welcome back to our life. Well, I can’t blame you if you did think like that, and I’m sure I’ll satisfy your hunger to see me suffer when I return.

I’d like to finish off my blogging for these three months firstly with some stats I’ve worked out, and secondly – via the next post – a poem about it all. As you may know, I do a bit of writing and the odd poem, so I wanted to record all of the things I’ve seen, done, experienced and felt in my time away and at home since I’ve been off. The poem hasn’t got great structure or form, but it’s not meant to be perfect. Some of the lines can only be understood by me, some only by a few others, but for the most I hope you can get a good snapshot of it all and a feel of my journey. I didn’t realise I’d actually done so much until I counted the 36 verses! Hope you enjoy it, but it’s just as much for me as it is for anyone else.

I’ll end by saying a few thank-you’s:

Mum, Dad and family – Thanks for supporting me and not freaking out when I told you about my plans.
Olive – Not sure what I would have done with Tom and Geri without you!
Steve – Cheers for the advice and for helping to make my NY trip so good.
Eric, Mary, Nick and Kelly – Thank you for making it possible for me to take the three months off work, and for the support given to me.
And finally Alli – For giving me so many wonderful memories in this period, and for simply being you.

Don’t worry – I fully intend to think of other exciting stuff to do and blog about soon! Just give me a while to sink back to reality first….

Sabbatical stats

Number of flights: 16
Number of countries visited/landed in: 8
Number of capital cities visited/landed: 6
Number of miles travelled by bus: 2100
Number of miles travelled by air: Approx 25,000
Number of McDonald’s/Hungry Jack’s eaten: 0
Number of hostels stayed in: 18
Number of photos taken: Approx 6500
Number of photos put on Facebook/website: Approx 1200
Number of blog entries: 33
Number of lifetime ambitions achieved: 1.5 (“To parachute out of the sky” and “To travel the world” (well, this trip took me a bit closer to this one, but plenty more to do!))

I’m sitting in a small room at Beijing airport with a thermometer
underneath my armpit. Chalk up another experience…

My ridiculously long journey home started what seems a lifetime ago,
flying from Melbourne to Sydney. A few hours’ wait there and then an
11 hour flight to China, 7.5 hours’ wait and then another 11 hours to
Heathrow. The sooner I invent that teleport the better…

Since I left, it appears that swine flu is the latest craze sweeping
the world. Great. China are particularly cautious, and so I had to
fill out a form about my health. You had to answer truthfully, and
whether you had had a cough recently. Well, I’m still getting rid of
the last bits of a cold a caught off someone in a hostel weeks ago, so I ticked the cough box. Next thing I know, I’m being hauled off to a
side room and being shown a thermometer and where to put it. Well, at least I’m not a cat, I suppose.

There is a blue sign in front of me that I attempt to read to pass the
time whilst my temperature is being read, bit it’s all in Chinese.
Except something about SARS. Mmmm nice. Eventually, it’s time for the armpit reading…I’m ok, I can go. Obviously no pig flu for me this
time.

The airport is huge – it took ten minutes just to park the plane – so
I find a secluded spot to pass the time. Should I sleep? Didn’t sleep
much on the plane. Eat? Not hungry yet. Besides, I have no money! No local currency anyway, and no ATM in sight. Maybe I’ll change some up if need be or put on card. Not that I have a clue of prices. I’ll just blog and do some writing for the moment.

I have a snack a bit later which could have cost five or fifty pounds;
guess I’ll find out later. Discover some free wireless and delight in
Liverpool’s victory that puts them top for the minute. The dream
lives on, despite the odds still against us.

Somehow, the hours fly by and I’m on the plane, trying not to cough
and cause widspread panic. Just a mere 11 hours in daylight, probably with the same films as earlier.

Time to switch off – bringing the end to Travel Andy’s international
blog…for the moment!

I’m currently sitting in the departure lounge at Melbourne airport,
waiting for my delayed flight to Sydney. Once there, I’ll be heading
back home, via a short stop in Beijing. The end of this fantastic trip
is near…

So Melbourne, then. It’s a cool place, I’ve decided, preferable even
to Sydney. My visit to the St. Kilda area was splendid, really
enjoyable. I walked miles and miles along the beach front and really
enjoyed the scenery. I stayed specially to see the sunset, and I
wasn’t disappointed, either. Hope you like the photos!

The hostel I stayed at was unusual – an ex-nunnery! It had a good vibe
about it, very spacious and I met some good people there. The location
was pretty central, with easy connections within the city via the
excellent tram system and walking.

The next day was spent doing a little shopping and then wandering
around the bottanical gardens. The gardens were peaceful, though not
very colourful, which seems to be the theme of my autumn trip and
gardens.

I had a great night, though, when I went to see an Aussie Rules game
with a mate from Nottingham who was in my hostel room. A packed 50,000
crowd crammed in to watch Essendon v Hawthorn. No, I’d never heard of
them either! In fact, we didn’t have a clue what the heck was going on
for the first two quarters! Men in vests running, jumping, kicking and
occasionally scoring was the best we could work out. I decided at half
time to ask an Aussie behind me the rules, and from then on it all
made sense! I cheered the underdog, Essendon, and to our delight they
absolutely stormed them! Most of the crowd around us and red and black
went wild as they ran out easy winners. A bit like Spurs beating
Arsenal 4-0 – no-one thought it was possible! I congratulated our
Aussie mate and left the stadium in the drizzle with the delighted
sounds of the Essendon fans ringing in my ears. Afterwards, we went to
a local bar and sunk a few beers until the early hours. Well, it was
my last night in Oz…

Am I sad to be leaving? Yes. Looking forward to going home? No and
yes. Don’t want to go back to normality, but it will be good to see
everyone again. Plus have some privacy and different clothes! Not sure
how I’ll adjust back, but I do know it won’t be quite the same as
before, after the experiences Travel Andy has had!

Hope to see you all soon and bore you all with my photos and stories…

So the choice is a nice, relaxing day at the Great Barrier Reef, finding Nemo, immersing myself in a great underwater spectacle, or hurling myself off a tower with an elastic band strapped to my leg. Decisions, decisions for my last day in Cairns. Except it isn’t a decision. I’ve been aware for some time that the normal, reserved, responsible, cautious part of Andy has been beaten away into a corner by the daring, sod-the-possible-consequences, throw-caution-to-the-wind Travel Andy. The latter has taken over and has handed over the credit card to make the booking for tomorrow.

I wake in the morning after a lie-in, ready for an 11am pick up. I’m not that nervous – after all, I’ve done a sky dive; I can do anything, me. Before I know it, I’m in a car being driven down the road to the bungy station. We arrive and I walk up the slope to see the setting in the forest. It’s really pleasant – waterfall, chilling out area, LCD screens, but the tower looms large over the complex at 50 metres high above a pond. I sign up for one jump, with the intention of a second if all goes well and I like it. Another set of disclaimer forms, and I get given my ticket. Better go to the toilet first. Not that I’m nervous, of course. I wander over to the big sign and start to climb the tower’s many steps…

I’m not liking this. My confidence is oozing out of my legs with every step upwards. The wooden stairs are the kind with gaps in between each step, and the whole tower wobbles as you ascend. I don’t like heights, I remember. Never have. After a long climb, I reach the top. Much to my dismay, there’s only one jumper in front of me, so my turn is imminent. Ohhhhh crap.

My heart is racing. I feel very nervous. I look over the edge by the side and try to imagine myself falling over it. Can I jump off? I actually have to do something here, not like sky diving. I can see the coast far in the distance, as clouds gather overhead. I get told to put my harness on, but struggle with all the straps. Eventually, I sort it, and all I have to do is wait to be called. Thriller is blasting over the stereo. Like I could be more scared…

“OK Andy, just stand up and shuffle towards the edge.” the female crew member says to me, as if I’m in a supermarket queue on Christmas Eve. I do it, reluctantly.

“Now, just need your toes a little nearer the edge…”
Give me a break.! This is nuts!! I look down. I can’t do this. Every muscle in my body is telling me I’m insane – my feet are tied, I’m a million miles up and I have to dive off and who knows what happens next. I can’t do this.
“You just need to let go of the rail.”
I shakily give up my crutch that is the bar beside me.
“Errr, the other hand, too.”
Dammit. I forgot about that one. Nope, it won’t let go! I’m properly bricking it now! This is silly, I can’t dive off, I just can’t I…
“Right Andy, I‘m gonna say 5-4-3-2-1 and then you go ok? Now wave to the camera…”
I wave cheerfully. Who am I kidding?
“5…”
Sh*t”
“4…”
Crap.
“3…”
Oh f**k.
“2…”
Arrgghh.
“1…”
<blank>

I launch myself into midair.

Woooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The rest is all a bit of a blur until I reach the water, where I’m unexpectedly dunked into it head first, right up to my waist. Bouncing up, I’m totally shocked. What the hell happened? What on Earth do I feel now? This is…just…wow. I continue bouncing, unable to really comprehend what is happening. A few moments and several bounces later, the guy below grabs me and pulls me into his small dinghy, ready to untie me. I get told to wave to the camera, this time far above me, and I do so, automatically. He rows the short distance to the side and helps me out. I climb to my feet and feel my mop of wet hair. Wow. I’ve done it. I’ve actually done a bungy jump!!!

I stumble around for a few minutes, expecting a big crowd or applause or something, but of course a lot of people here have either done it or have seen it all before. No-one’s that interested in this soaking wet English guy in his Liverpool t-shirt doing a basic bungy jump. I go to the toilet again and dry off a little. Do I want to go again? Yeah, why the hell not…

It’s lunch time for the crew, so there’s a bit of time to wait. There’s a bar here, so I take the recommendation of going for a beer. I even grab some Doritos as I am a bit peckish. I down the beer quite quickly, and soon am told that it’s time to resume. This time, as I climb the steps I’m more confident. I’ve done it now; no longer a bungy virgin. One slight problem, however, is that I’m a bit susceptible to drink on an empty stomach. I’m about to do a bungy a bit half cut!

I reach the top with a defiant attitude. You didn’t beat me before, and this time I’m stepping it up a level. The second of three categories contains various styles, and I’ve chosen the run-as-fast-as-you-can-off-the-edge one. I have a reason for doing this, although it is a bit sad to admit: Die Hard. You know the bit where John McClane (Bruce Willis) ties himself with a hose or something and jumps off the edge just as the building’s roof explodes? Well, that’s how I’m imagining this jump. Living the movies once again! For this jump, however, it’s a little different. I have to climb a ladder on to a higher platform, and then up a ramp. There’s nothing in front of me, nothing to the sides.. Only air. This is quite serious. How can I do this? Well, despite being afraid of heights all my life, there is just a part of me that’s an adrenalin junkie. I can switch off the part of my brain that holds all the fears and reservations and just do something stupid but thrilling. I’m not entirely sure of its limitations, but I’m pushing it this holiday, for sure!

The female crew member (let’s call her Miss Bungy) raises her eyebrow when she hears I’m all set for the running jump. Considering my hesitation and obvious nervousness on my first one, she seems quite dubious. Helping me into a different harness so my legs are free and beckoning me up the ladder, she takes me through what to do. “Just run as fast as you can Andy, with the rope out to your side.”
I’m ready. I’m psyched. A bit nervous, but not thinking about it. Maybe it’s the beer. I only feel it slightly, but perhaps it’s helping. Not that I’d recommend a drunken bungy, but let’s see what happens!

Miss Bungy goes through the countdown. Bring it on…
“Yipee ki-yay!” I say as I sprint towards the edge like a stockbroker in a hurry.

“Wahhhhhhoooooooooooo!Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!”

Arms and legs everywhere but this time the feeling is fantastic! This is sooooo cool! I just sprinted off the edge of a platform and now I’m just bouncing around free in the air! No water, just the scrolling sights of the platform, trees, people below, pond, platform again, and finally the dinghy man. Incredible!!! That’s probably me done for now, isn’t it?

I’d planned for two, but I have this voice inside me to go again. I remember meeting an eighteen year old a few days earlier that said he was going for the BMX jump. The English guy in front of me who also did the running jump is going for it. Should I? I go and check his jump out.

Wow, that looked pretty intense! That got everyone looking. Holding on to the BMX and cycling off the ramp looked crazy! I gotta do it. Truth is, I don’t really want to do it, but I want to say to everyone that I’ve done three bungys and one of them was on a BMX bike. Beat that, matey. Doing it to show off? To brag? To look cool? Yes, I have to admit that. But so what? I’m a bloke, after all!! I sign up…

This time there’s a wait up the top. A few more people have come and I have to watch them all take their turn. People question the presence of the BMX, and seem impressed when I casually say that I’m doing it. A little boy spectating watches on with admiration. I feel like a pro! I watch a couple on their 25^th anniversary to their first jumps in tandem together. Another couple fail, as the woman bottles as she reaches the top. Despite tons of encouragement and lots of time, another woman turns back from the edge, almost in tears. It does remind you of what it takes to do it. Whilst all this is going on, I look at the view as the rain falls lightly above. A part rainbow covers one of the islands in the distance. Amongst all the rock music being played to set the mood, suddenly Africa by Toto comes on, and I think of Alli. No time for soft thoughts up here!

“I didn‘t think you‘d run so fast as you did on your last jump” Miss Bungy says to me as she gives me the harness. Ha – obviously I surprised her with my Die Hard impression. Eventually, it’s the time of the BMX Kid to take centre stage. Which is where we came in…
 

The ramp slopes downwards. The bike, obviously, has wheels. My left foot is Sellotaped to the pedal. My right foot is out to my side for balance. The tower is swaying heavily as the other swing ride takes place beneath it. I have to pedal to the edge and into oblivion. Everything is wobbling. I could slip or roll downwards any minute now. It’s not easy, as the helper checks and ties various cables. I have to somehow hang on to the bike all the way down, whilst being flung in all sorts of unknown directions. This is absolutely crazy insane!!! What am I thinking? I’m not a stunt man! I’ve only been doing this for five minutes, but Mr Big Balls had to take it to the third level, didn’t he? Brain – what possessed you to go for this??!! I’m very, very scared.

More last-minute adjustments. Keep going, as I’m not sure I want to do this any more. What if I go off at an angle? Every part of me that’s ridden a bike says to stop. I can barely do a wheelie! I’ve never even owned a BMX! Despite being my third jump, I really am petrified.

“OK Andy!”
Don’t say it…
“5-4-3-2…”
My heart pumps fast. My throat is dry.,
“1…”
I open my eyes wide.
“GO!!!”

A primitive, do-or-die emotion floods through me and suddenly I’m pedalling! I’m not sure if it’s out loud or just in my mind but I’m screaming as I approach the edge. Oh sh………………………………………….

I’m spinning, I’m turning, I’m flying through the air on a goddamit BMX!!!! Scenery rushes past my eyes but I have no idea of what’s up or down. I’m gripping the handlebars tightly and pressing on the peddles extremely hard. I reach the full of the extent of the rope and bounce back down again. “Yeah baby!” I shout, in amongst a few other screams. After a second bounce, I even have the confidence to play with the steering. Look at me!!! I’ve just done possibly the craziest thing in my life!!!!

Back on terra firma, I’m shaking. That was even worse than the first one! My legs shook all the way down, and now my hands are wobbling like the tower. But I’ve done it. Three jumps, including a spectacular bike dive. The kid, walking down, eyes wide looking at me is keen to know how it felt. Respect from the crew behind the counter. I’m the man! And I can’t stop smiling…

 
Photos are now on Facebook and my website, but for real hilarity you need to check out the DVD. My first jump I look so nervous, my second I sprint determinedly, and the third I look like a crazed madman on two wheels!

Many people have done many more crazy things, but I’ll settle for that…for now!

I’m in the bus with half a dozen others being driven to the sky dive
airport in Tully. I want this journey to last a long time, because I
know once we’re there it will be very soon that I’ll be up I’m the
sky. Unfortunately, the cheerful driver who’s seen this a thousand
times says it will only take fifteen minutes. I begin to wonder if
I’ve got any loose ends I should tie up if the worst happens. I turn
my thoughts to my future blog entry.

We arrive at the “airport” and are told that stretch of grass that
looks suspiciously like a footy field is our runway. I sign my life
away on two forms and hope that my decision not to extend my insurance
to cover this is a gamble I’ll win. Didn’t help that a roomate told a
story yesterday of her mum breaking both her ankles doing this. Oh
well, dems the risks.
“Anyone else want to go in the first group?” the organsier shouts out.
I put up my hand, if only to get more beach time later in the day. No
point hanging around here getting nervous, either.

I meet my tandem partner and instantly forget his name. “How long you
been doing this?” I ask.
“Twenty years. 17,000 jumps”
Is this man clinically insane??!! One jump is bad enough, 100 just
silly. I don’t even want to compute his numbers. Still, right now
experience is good. Very good. I mean, he’s obviously survived that
many times, so unless he managed to kill a few jumpers on the way,
odds are I’ll be ok.

The safety lessons are over way too quickly. Bend your knees, arch
your back, and then lift your legs when landing. Pretty much it. If it
all goes wrong, then I guess I’ll just scream and flail every
appendage until I hit the water and break my neck/drown/get eaten by
shark/stung by jellyfish. Happy thoughts.

We walk to the plane, and get another shock. I’ve built bigger Airfix
kits than that!!! Somehow we squeeze about six pairs of sky divers in
it. Very cosy. We take off.

“2000 feet!” my partner tells me, happily counting down my impending
doom. 12000 feet to go. I admit the view looks good below. So many
greens. As we climb higher, it looks beautiful. The sun is hitting the
water and you can see the ringed patterns of the current. The long
sandy beach stretches as far as you can see. Wonderul. I start to get
really nervous.

What the heck am I doing here? I’m gonna jump out any minute and I’m
basically dead unless the guy behind me does his job. Should I be
doing this? Man, how bad would it be for family and friends if I was
to go splat?I’m sure Alli wouldn’t be too pleased, either. I know this
is one of my ambitions I wrote down when I was 15, but now I’m here
I’m really not sure. Little time for any other thoughts, though, as I
get prepped for the moment. Ohhhhhh crap….

I watch the first one go. I’m gonna be fifth of six. One by one I hear
the screams. Way too soon I’m shunted to the edge of the plane’s open
door. You gotta me shittin’ me… I feel a shove and then I’m in the
air…

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh. My. God!!!!!!!!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaawwwwww!!!!!!!

This is f**king amazing!!!!!!!!!! I’m hurtling down towards the blue
sea at some unreal speed and it feels like nothing I’ve ever
experienced!! Like the most intense roller coaster drop but 1000 times
better!!! Am I falling? This is just incredible!! How the heck do I
describe this? The wind, the sights, the sensation is absolutely
wicked!!! Cooooool! Let me fall…let me fall…

My partner taps me on the shoulder to tell me I can wave my arms
around now. I make stupid faces and hand gestures to the camera,
shouting every corny dude phrase I can think of. Suddenly, he pulls
the parachute, and we slow down. I wasn’t even worried that it
wouldn’t open, and could have happily fallen for ever, if possible.
Now everything’s different. It’s serene. No sound. Just here drifting,
watching the jumpers below me slowly spiral down. I see islands,
trees, boats, rivers, the strip of beach that is my destination and of
course the sea. Incredible. We circle for a bit, and then swing
towards the landing site. I put my legs up when told and we complete a
perfect landing. I’ve just done my first sky dive and feel
fantastic!!!!!!!!!!! Can we do that again?

Best thing I’ve ever done? Quite possibly. Most insane? Absolutely.
Another ambition ticked off today.

Friday mornings spent in meetings, or risking your life hurtling
towards the ground with just a bit of cloth between you and certain
death? Shove me out of that plane… I wanna live……..

5.45am. My alarm goes off, disturbing a few of the girls in my eight-
berth dorm. Time to abandon ship.

Today I’m doing a sky dive. That’s jumping out of a perfectly good
plane at 14,000 feet with an instructor strapped to your back, in the
hope that the parachute will open ok and we’ll float gracefully down.
Why am I doing this? Well, for one it’s one of my lifetime ambitions.
Secondly, I guess it’s part two of my Point Break Keanu Reeves
experience.

First things first, though. I thought as I’m getting up early today I
might as well go a bit earlier and catch sunrise at 6:30 on the east-
facing beach. So I wash and stroll through the increasing light along
the road to the beach. I find a spot and look out. Unfortunately, it’s
a little cloudy out there, so not sure how it will look, but at least
the clouds will provide some effects. Around 6:30, the sun appears.
Wow. Look at it rising! I’m sure there has been many more stunning
sunsets I’m history, but this one is beautiful. The clouds are lined
with a golden edge as yellow dominates the blue and grey. Rays shoot
out as the disc slowly is revealed. A small boat bobbing a short way
out further sets the scene. If this is my last day alive on Earth,
then it’s not a bad start…

It’s 7:2am right now and I’m getting picked up in a few minutes. This
has been written live, so I honestly don’t know if there’ll be a next
post!!!