On the bright side

Ten reasons why losing to Iceland today wouldn’t be as bad as you think:

Iceland Blue Lagoon Small

  1. We can all stop deluding ourselves we’re experts in politics and resume pretending we’re experts in football.
  2. Our hooligan contingent can return home, get a new tattoo and catch up on the latest edition of Moron Monthly.
  3. The Sun might have a hilarious, witty pun that we actually haven’t read before. (But probably not.)
  4. France will be gutted they don’t get the chance to knock out les rosbifs on their turf.
  5. We can blame the 2016 Leicester Effect ™ for giving every minnow the outrageous idea they could actually triumph.
  6. It’ll finally give our Scottish friends something to smile about.
  7. We can concentrate on Wimbledon and remind ourselves we’re not English – we’re British.
  8. There will be no more bland interviews with the England players saying that the team has belief, they’re right behind the gaffer and that they can go all the way.
  9. We’ll have lost a tournament without a single metatarsal being broken. (Although there’s still time to do that on the flight home.)
  10. Given his Euro exit credentials, Roy Hodgson will become a better candidate for Prime Minister than Boris Johnson (with the only downside being that he might make Wayne Rooney his Chancellor).
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