I often describe life as a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, unknown twists and turns, exhilarating highs and stomach-churning lows. But thinking about it, that’s wrong. Coasters give you zero control – you just sit down and take what it gives you. Life shouldn’t be like that. I’m lucky to be able to be in control for most of it.
So it’s about time I took the steering wheel again.
January and February have flown by. It’s like I’ve pressed the x6 button on my Sky remote and have fast-forwarded through these months. After a very productive 2011, I’ve started 2012 coasting, going round and round in circles. Why? A big part of it is being in new territory – I’m job-hunting for the first time in 17 years, looking for a new house for the first time in 14, and trying to work out how to edit my book to get it to a state to send to publishers. I’m way out of my comfort zone, with no daily structure, and no clear knowledge of how or when I will achieve my objectives. Add a bit of recent injury and illness, and things have been relatively pants for me recently. Of course I know I have a great life really and wouldn’t dare suggest otherwise, but being in this limbo state every day – especially in the dark and cold of mid-winter – starts to erode your confidence, makes you doubt yourself and takes away your swagger. But this is where my marathon training comes in to sort my head out and get me going straight down that road again to my goal.
It’s tough out there, but I have the confidence in myself, in my abilities and I’m really looking forward to getting back to employment, to proving myself and making a difference somewhere. It will happen and I will make it happen. Maybe not tomorrow and maybe I’ll need a little luck along the way, but I’m positive.
The right house will eventually come along.
The novel won’t edit itself. It’s time for discipline again.
No excuses. No getting side-tracked. No stopping until it’s done.